Queen Of Hearts Gifts

'- and since when have Kings beaten Queens in THIS house?'

I love you. You're my everything. Mixed Message Arts.

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

'I'm going to have to cut it - Daddy is complaining about the shampoo bill again.'

The Royal Wii

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

A war would have been bad enough, but losing Alsace-Lorraine in a poker game?

Countess

A thief steals a heart

Cat with Crown.

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

'I wish you wouldn't bring work home with you!'

'Well, you DID know this job was dangerous when you took it.'

Cat Romance

"The kids - Prince Englebert and Princess Felicia - would like us to move into the olde monarchs' home."

"He may be Sven the Slayer to you, but to me he's still Mr Cuddly Bun!"

"What never fails to anger me is that I'm always identified by my man."

'Oh, that's your Grandpa -- I couldn't bring myself to cut his head off.'

Pucker up!

'Every time I win an argument, he goes off on a Crusade to sulk.'

POLLS, 'If an election were being held today....'

'You're just lazy! -- Don't give me that 'metal fatigue' stuff!'

'Your mommy is here as you requested, sire, to check for monsters under your throne!'

"Bark to me of love."

Love on the slopes

'Son, isn't it about time you went out and conquered a country of your own?'

'You can be replaced by Harry Potter, you know!'

"And then at 3 you have a meeting with the royal pain in the butt."

"Not exactly - He believes that the ends justify BEING mean."

'Believe me, son, she's a much better choice for you than that skinny girl, Cinderella!'

'Now, don't panic, but just as a precaution, I think you should put the country in your wife's name.'

'Is this the Lonely Hearts Club?'