King Of Hearts Fan Gifts

'Is this the Lonely Hearts Club?'

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

TV jester.

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

Missing You.

'I'm re-enacting a battle with my conscience.'

'The King of what?'

Oh, wait - Their king posted a declaration of war on your Facebook wall this morning.

"Makes me wish I'd kept that gorilla suit."

S.P.F. 1,000

'Look, Carl, the glory days are over. You might want to slip into something a little more comfortable.'

Cat king.

'Yes, he definitely wants something. . . maybe his crown and scepter.'

King and Jester

"I was hoping you'd consider this a prelude to a kiss."

Reign Man

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

"One blackbird pizza?"

'Why round? Why not square? Or rectangle? Or a triangle? Or . . . '

"...and if any of you are opposed to my being king of the snake pit, raise your hands now!"

'I know it seems like a war, but it's actually an all-out struggle for peace!'

Knights' Status Report: Rusted out, Metal fatigue, Popped rivets, Bad welds, Squeaky hinges, Dents and dings.

Medieval King

'And there he was shouting: 'A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse!'... I thought to myself: Why not...'

Martial Arts

A day at the races

'You're going to make the railroads run on time? -- Since when do we have railroads?'

'Well, I'll be...look at this...there's a song in his heart!'

'I wish you wouldn't bring work home with you!'

Beefeater

'Anne Boleyn now regrets avoiding that Prenup Chit Chat with King Henry.'

'I told the jester he could take April Fool's Day off.'

"Can you perform under pressure?"

''Proclaim freedom throughout the land'? -You're kidding, right?'