Kingdom Fans Gifts

"If you've got it, you've got it."

Cat king.

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

"He's his own worst enemy."

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'The Burrito King.'

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

TV jester.

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

Missing You.

'I'm re-enacting a battle with my conscience.'

"Makes me wish I'd kept that gorilla suit."

Oh, wait - Their king posted a declaration of war on your Facebook wall this morning.

'The King of what?'

S.P.F. 1,000

'Look, Carl, the glory days are over. You might want to slip into something a little more comfortable.'

"Albert the Great—what a joke."

King and Jester

'He followed me home, Dad -- can I oppress him?'

Medieval headlines.

'Yes, he definitely wants something. . . maybe his crown and scepter.'

"I was hoping you'd consider this a prelude to a kiss."

"One blackbird pizza?"

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

Reign Man

'Why round? Why not square? Or rectangle? Or a triangle? Or . . . '

"What good is power if you don't use it?"

"...and if any of you are opposed to my being king of the snake pit, raise your hands now!"

'I know it seems like a war, but it's actually an all-out struggle for peace!'

'I wish you wouldn't bring work home with you!'

Beefeater

'And there he was shouting: 'A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse!'... I thought to myself: Why not...'

'You're going to make the railroads run on time? -- Since when do we have railroads?'