Kingdom Stories Fan Gifts

Edward the Elder

"I fear he's the bearer of bad news."

The Fourth Little Pig

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

Saint George and the Drag Queen

Little Buttercup HMS Pinafore

'The Burrito King.'

"Bram Stoker's Bambi"

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

Moby Dick

This side is the gag reel.

Malaprop Man! Adventures. Malaprop Man! Where have you been? At a stupor her comet confection! Did many of your fellow heroes show up? We had a great turnabout! Backman and the Incredible Bulk were there! So was Caption Americ, the Flush, Wander Woman and Plasterman! Very impressive. Who was the most popular with the fans? I think I was the main distraction! I have no doubt at all about that!

'The Saxon King' pub

"Albert the Great—what a joke."

Cat king.

Medieval headlines.

Ask A Silly Question.

'He followed me home, Dad -- can I oppress him?'

"At lease we managed to stop the leak before the water reached 'E' Deck."

Romulus and Remus

"Well, how was I supposed to know you were saving them for something special?"

"What good is power if you don't use it?"

Bertolt Brecht

Pirates find out treasure is a piggy bank.

King Richard I

"Pop, tell me again how Jazz came up the river from New Orleans."

"Your Majesty, this learned committee has done deep research on the subject, and we have come to one conclusion: queens often marry down."

"Drop it... Such things banished in our kingdom."

Frog Prince

"Boy, am I out of breath. I had to run crying 'Wee, wee, wee!' all the way home."

'I like reading romance novels: They always leave me with a warm feeling inside...'

"Oh, you don't need to fight them—you just need to convince the pitchfork people that the torch people want to take away their pitchforks."

'It's an unauthorized biography of the Chief.'