Kingdom Enthusiasts Gifts

'Yes, this is us speaking.'

"Well, after you beheaded the groundskeeper, we had to go with something low-maintenance."

"And now we're pleased to present to you the monarchical stylings of His Majesty King Gustaf."

"Oh, you don't need to fight them—you just need to convince the pitchfork people that the torch people want to take away their pitchforks."

'It's not a crusade, you sillies! - I just want to maintain a PRESENCE in the Middle East.'

'Dungeons aren't SUPPOSED to be user-friendly!'

All the Kings Horses and All the Kings Men

Medieval headlines.

'Are you sure you don't want me to train my replacement?'

'We CAN'T overthrow him -- he owes us money.'

'A literacy program? -- you want everybody writing TELL-ALL books?'

'My foreign policy isn't working -- write me up another one.'

'They're still very much in love.'

"He's his own worst enemy."

"She wishes to range free!"

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

'The Burrito King.'

"The knights of the round accent table"

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

'The Saxon King' pub

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

'It's in my belly-button if you must know!'

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

Cat king.

'He followed me home, Dad -- can I oppress him?'

'Trains traditionally run late, it rains on bank holidays and Yorkshire pudding is a main course.'

"And His Majesty sends you a great big kiss, too."

'I know that you think you should be the President of this company, Your Majesty. But, you'll just have to work your way up, like I did!'

'I'll have your head on a platter.'

'Under blood type, sir, could you be a little more specific than blue?'

"What good is power if you don't use it?"

'Your Majesty, the peasants are out of bread!', 'Then let them eat low-carb stuff.'

'... But of course, if there's something more interesting outside.'