Kingly Aficionados Gifts

Medieval King

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

'Now that's an afro!'

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

King George I

"He's his own worst enemy."

'The Burrito King.'

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

"She wishes to range free!"

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

King on the toilet whilst jester laughs because the toilet paper is out of reach.

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

"In my own country I didn't drive a taxi."

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

The Unhappy King

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

Trading half a kingdom for a lesser steed!

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

'The Saxon King' pub

'Of all the technological advances from the last 60 years, this is one's favourite.'

'Henry, we can't begin to make progress unless your friend leaves the room.'

'It's in my belly-button if you must know!'

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

"Grant them amnesty and then hang them."

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

'He followed me home, Dad -- can I oppress him?'

'He'll stop being so smug when he gets his first dent.'

Royal Love

''Depression'? -- You or the country or both?'

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'