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Medieval King

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

'Now that's an afro!'

"Well how about that. . . Lady Godiva bought a Harley!"

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

King George I

"He's his own worst enemy."

"She wishes to range free!"

'The Burrito King.'

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

King on the toilet whilst jester laughs because the toilet paper is out of reach.

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

"In my own country I didn't drive a taxi."

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

The Unhappy King

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

'The Saxon King' pub

Trading half a kingdom for a lesser steed!

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

'Of all the technological advances from the last 60 years, this is one's favourite.'

'Henry, we can't begin to make progress unless your friend leaves the room.'

'It's in my belly-button if you must know!'

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

'He'll stop being so smug when he gets his first dent.'

'He followed me home, Dad -- can I oppress him?'

Medieval headlines.

"Grant them amnesty and then hang them."

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."