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'The Saxon King' pub

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

A crowd of happy pet owners.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

'Now that's an afro!'

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

"NOW can I shoot you out of a cannon?"

King George I

"He's his own worst enemy."

"It's called 'semelparity' darling. The salmon spawn then die, so we just need to wait at the spawning grounds to get an easy feed. It's all about sustainability."

'The Burrito King.'

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

A kangeroo and it's baby read books about understanding each other.

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

"It says here that humans are the only member of the animal kingdom who can have sex any time, any place."

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

"So, I've heard you call yourself 'King of the Jungle'! Based on what criteria exactly?"

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

The Unhappy King

Thug life on safari.

'Henry, we can't begin to make progress unless your friend leaves the room.'

Medieval headlines.

"Take the picture, dam it, take the picture!"

'He followed me home, Dad -- can I oppress him?'

Royal Love

'The knights are drawing closer'

'He'll stop being so smug when he gets his first dent.'

'I like zebras. They have great taste, and wonderful personalities too.'

I read on Candorville.com that was rank 29,705th in the world when it comes to attention spans. What? Aren't there only 196 countries? The article didn't just include human countries. It included the various animal kingdoms and the plant republics. Did you know that Americans have an eight-second attention span ... but the goldfish who live in little Lionel Brown's aquarium kingdom at 1492 MLK Way in Candorville have a nine-second attention span? Are you sure you weren't reading a humor column?

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."