Kingdom Scenario Lover Gifts

'Don't think of it as a famine - Think of it as a comprehensive weight-loss plan!'

'Don't look at me like that! You're the one who wanted to live in a bouncy castle!'

"He's his own worst enemy."

'You've made a powerful enemy'

'The Burrito King.'

"The knights of the round accent table"

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'

"Could you tilt the Earth just a bit more away from the light?"

Medieval headlines.

'He followed me home, Dad -- can I oppress him?'

"We have a favor to ask."

"What good is power if you don't use it?"

The Consequences of an Interrupted Shower.

'It's not cheating...My king is Henry VIII.'

"It's marzipan pigs."

"Oh, you don't need to fight them—you just need to convince the pitchfork people that the torch people want to take away their pitchforks."

"Drop it... Such things banished in our kingdom."

"Your Majesty, this learned committee has done deep research on the subject, and we have come to one conclusion: queens often marry down."

'I seek an audience with the king.'

'Time gentlemen please. Come on, don't you have any kingdoms to go to? ! '

"Just suck it up and let him continue binge-watching your entire repertoire."

"Sorry I'm late: I was hitching a ride but when the driver noticed me, he panicked and we had an accident..."

"Precisely what do you find so provocative about me, Mr Golcz?"

"But the people,Your Majesty! The people are not happy."

Sex Education: "Here's one we prepared earlier..."

'Having a lot of underlings doesn't make you an overling!'

'Kings can get away with anything!'

'It's not a crusade, you sillies! - I just want to maintain a PRESENCE in the Middle East.'

King glaring at a map labelled "Mine" and "Theirs"

'Mom!!'

'Yes, this is us speaking.'

"I shouldn't have replaced the alligators with bass."