King Of The Office Gifts

'Frankly, I got here only because I was able to fix the copy machine.'

"It says here on your resume that one of your qualities is a sense of humor. Care to elaborate?"

Man mourns the loss of his king after being checkmated.

'I'm a work-at-home dad.'

'Can you spare a minute, madam - I'm doing a king of all I survey.'

'While I'm not looking for the typical 'Yes Man', I want a man who finds it extremely difficult to say 'No' to my suggestions.'

"I'm not the ruthless guy everyone says I am, but that's my goal."

'Admittedly, I'm into greed but it's honest greed.'

"A man's cubicle is his castle—eh, chief?"

Desk bins contain fires to be put out.

'I take it we won the business, then?'

"Where do you see yourself in five moves?"

'Mr. Bigmeister likes to start each meeting with the pledge of allegiance.'

"Maybe this will make you less of a jerk!"

'I know you've gotten attached to him, Bobby, I have too, but the man at the door is from his firm and needs him back.'

'The only exercise I believe in is the exercise of power.'

'I'm moving up to be Chairperson-of-the-Board. One of you will be President.'

"You all know today's speaker. He's the 'King of Big Sales'."

I'd clean this place up in 10 minutes. Yeah right. What's that you say? I fold laundry in my sleep. You're talking crazy to a man who can hem his wife's stockings while baking bread. Listen up close. Before my wife got home today, I scrubbed the bathroom tile, made a peach pie, sent out thank-you notes, fixed the kids grilled cheese and repotted the begonia. Now what do you think of that, pansy!? How liberated men compete. Don't make me knit something! I will get busy on you with a dust buster.

"Who do you want to talk to? The man in charge, or the woman who knows what's going on."

"I should laugh at my problems? Can I practice laughing at yours?"

"So you've been here three years. Just what is your name? I need it for the downsizing list."

'Will you be comfortable working for a rigid top down hierarchical corporation?'

Executive's in and out boxes are labeled - One Ear and The Other.

They tell us we have to save energy. Well he hasn't expended any in fifteen years.

The Man

'I won't say you're fired. Let's just say maintaining your employment status is not consistent with our long-term institutional objectives.'

'It's blueberry...Blackbirds are out of season.'

'I hear your performance is roaring.'

"I flunked out of acting school, but it was good training. I know how to act like I know what I'm doing."

"What's this I hear about you taking testosterone shots?"

'Here it is, Mom. . . 'Never make any sudden moves around an adult male protecting his remote. Let him know you have no intention of taking it from him and he will gradually come to his senses.''

'The customer is King'

Greg and Lee were having hours of fun with their photo copier breakdown remote control.

'nobody is worth the amount of money I make, but I don't care.'