King Of The Office Gifts

'Frankly, I got here only because I was able to fix the copy machine.'

"It says here on your resume that one of your qualities is a sense of humor. Care to elaborate?"

Man mourns the loss of his king after being checkmated.

'I'm a work-at-home dad.'

'Can you spare a minute, madam - I'm doing a king of all I survey.'

'While I'm not looking for the typical 'Yes Man', I want a man who finds it extremely difficult to say 'No' to my suggestions.'

"I'm not the ruthless guy everyone says I am, but that's my goal."

'Admittedly, I'm into greed but it's honest greed.'

"A man's cubicle is his castle—eh, chief?"

Desk bins contain fires to be put out.

'Mr. Bigmeister likes to start each meeting with the pledge of allegiance.'

"Where do you see yourself in five moves?"

'I know you've gotten attached to him, Bobby, I have too, but the man at the door is from his firm and needs him back.'

"Maybe this will make you less of a jerk!"

'The only exercise I believe in is the exercise of power.'

'I'm moving up to be Chairperson-of-the-Board. One of you will be President.'

"Who do you want to talk to? The man in charge, or the woman who knows what's going on."

"You all know today's speaker. He's the 'King of Big Sales'."

"So you've been here three years. Just what is your name? I need it for the downsizing list."

"I should laugh at my problems? Can I practice laughing at yours?"

'Will you be comfortable working for a rigid top down hierarchical corporation?'

Executive's in and out boxes are labeled - One Ear and The Other.

They tell us we have to save energy. Well he hasn't expended any in fifteen years.

The Man

'I won't say you're fired. Let's just say maintaining your employment status is not consistent with our long-term institutional objectives.'

'I hear your performance is roaring.'

"I flunked out of acting school, but it was good training. I know how to act like I know what I'm doing."

"What's this I hear about you taking testosterone shots?"

'It's blueberry...Blackbirds are out of season.'

'The customer is King'

'nobody is worth the amount of money I make, but I don't care.'

"Effective leadership means more than telling people to do as they're told."