King Of The Couch Gifts

They tell us we have to save energy. Well he hasn't expended any in fifteen years.

"Maybe this will make you less of a jerk!"

'Here it is, Mom. . . 'Never make any sudden moves around an adult male protecting his remote. Let him know you have no intention of taking it from him and he will gradually come to his senses.''

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

'He usually doesn't follow medical advice, but when the doctor told him to learn to relax...'

A knight sent to kill a dragon armed with a fly swatter

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

"Well, do you want to buy this sofa or not? You've been on it for three days!"

Lazy Rower.

'My husband likes to have everything handy during TV commercials.'

'He's in training for the marathon, he watches it every year.'

"Deal with it Your Majesty- Comedy is king!"

Get a Life

"Yeah. I'm into fitness. Fittin' dis whole sammich in my mouth."

"The point of going outside is the feeling when coming back inside."

'You'll have more luck getting the sword out of the stone than getting the remote control out of his hand.'

'He hibernates between superbowls.'

"There's the remote!"

"The Procrastination World Championships were only a month away. He never trained so hard."

'School sports day - fat boys playing computer game'

"I'll always love you just the way I am."

"What are we doing today?"

'It's the TV remote - he has a death grip on it.'

First Place Layabout

"Harry wasn't born great and he hasn't achieved greatness, but he figures there is always the chance that greatness may be thrust upon him?"

Refrigerator for the really lazy

Gee! Now I know why he's the king of the jungle

"His motto went from 'work hard, play hard,' to 'work hard, rest hard.'"

"According to the fitness watch the remote moves more than you do."

"Pace yourself big man! You're fatigued and the footy season has just begun!"

His entire life was about balance.

"We will be right back to our commercials after this brief game!"

"Oh, I love documentaries about space."

Woman tells slob husband: 'Yes, you've got the Gold for watching the most Olympics coverage, now please get a shower.'