King Of The Couch Pillows

They tell us we have to save energy. Well he hasn't expended any in fifteen years.

"Maybe this will make you less of a jerk!"

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

'He usually doesn't follow medical advice, but when the doctor told him to learn to relax...'

A knight sent to kill a dragon armed with a fly swatter

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

"Well, do you want to buy this sofa or not? You've been on it for three days!"

Lazy Rower.

'My husband likes to have everything handy during TV commercials.'

'He's in training for the marathon, he watches it every year.'

"Deal with it Your Majesty- Comedy is king!"

'You'll have more luck getting the sword out of the stone than getting the remote control out of his hand.'

"Yeah. I'm into fitness. Fittin' dis whole sammich in my mouth."

"The point of going outside is the feeling when coming back inside."

Get a Life

'He hibernates between superbowls.'

"The Procrastination World Championships were only a month away. He never trained so hard."

"There's the remote!"

'School sports day - fat boys playing computer game'

"What are we doing today?"

First Place Layabout

'It's the TV remote - he has a death grip on it.'

"I'll always love you just the way I am."

"Harry wasn't born great and he hasn't achieved greatness, but he figures there is always the chance that greatness may be thrust upon him?"

"According to the fitness watch the remote moves more than you do."

Gee! Now I know why he's the king of the jungle

Refrigerator for the really lazy

"His motto went from 'work hard, play hard,' to 'work hard, rest hard.'"

His entire life was about balance.

"We will be right back to our commercials after this brief game!"

"That's kingsize?"

'It's blueberry...Blackbirds are out of season.'

"I remember when you used to hold a scepter instead of that remote."

Woman tells slob husband: 'Yes, you've got the Gold for watching the most Olympics coverage, now please get a shower.'