Couch Champion Pillows

'School sports day - fat boys playing computer game'

'How can you just lie there all day?'

'He's in training for the marathon, he watches it every year.'

First Place Layabout

"According to the fitness watch the remote moves more than you do."

'He hibernates between superbowls.'

' If nagging were an Olympic sport - you'd win gold! '

"I'm not lazy, I'm hyper inactive."

"No, I don't feel guilty. I've heard the average Briton moves once every six years."

"What are we doing today?"

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

"To save you the bother of watching the game I'll do it with both eyes open."

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

"Bloody hell!"

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

TV-Man

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

Check your universal remote control at the door.

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

"All of a dither as per usual!"

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

'He usually doesn't follow medical advice, but when the doctor told him to learn to relax...'

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

"You'll love this model, sir! You won't have to miss any of the sports action when you go for a beer!"

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

'John is watching the game under protest.'

'What about you...you've been living here thirty years too?'

'Now that's Real TV!'

'Call 911! He watched 12 straight hours of football without training adequately.'

"I watched a Lassie marathon today and realized that I really need to step up my game."

Don't touch that dial! — We're experts, and we know what you should be watching!

... And by the end of the first quarter of the game, the famous 'Man Cave' was completely deserted.

"Darling! We've become armchair socialites."