Couch Coaches Pillows

Sports PsychologyBad at Sports Pscyhology.

Check your universal remote control at the door.

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

TV-Man

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

'Very well, I'll introduce you. Ego, meet ID. Now get back to work.'

'John is watching the game under protest.'

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

'Call 911! He watched 12 straight hours of football without training adequately.'

"Fancy dyeing your hair white so everyone could see it was you who played a shocker!"

Support Group for high heels abandoned during the pandemic

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

'Ask your doctor if getting your fat butt off the couch might be right for you!'

'He's in training for the marathon, he watches it every year.'

"There's got to be an easier way to lie around the house."

"Shouldn't you boys be out fighting crime somewhere?" "Yeah, yeah, whatever." "I could use another beer while you're up." "I ain't goin' on no airplane!" "Anyone pay the cable bill?" The A-Hole Team

"It's time to get the couch gutters cleaned again."

Randolph maintains a stiff upper lip while the rest of him just goes to hell.

"I want an instant replay of you taking out the garbage."

"The point of going outside is the feeling when coming back inside."

'Well, at least there's no chance of you suffering from repetative strain injury.'

"No, playing fantasy football doesn't count as exercise. No wonder you pulled a muscle getting up on the table."

"When did this game get started?"

'Next on News 7...GM offers to bail out the government in the event of a shutdown...'

Eventual Motion Machine

"Have we scored yet?"