Couch Counselor Pillows

'Very well, I'll introduce you. Ego, meet ID. Now get back to work.'

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

Studies show foods work miracles!

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

"Bloody hell!"

TV-Man

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

'Seriously. You have to get one of these.'

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"Can you hypnotise me into being in shape?"

"All of a dither as per usual!"

"Stand up, honey. The president's on. You're committing treason."

"And next up, Fairy Tales: FolkLORE or FolkLIES!"

'John is watching the game under protest.'

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

'First of all, calm down - your allowed to be on the couch.'

'What about you...you've been living here thirty years too?'

"You're overthinking it. Sometimes a belly rub is just a belly rub."

"This is nice. You have your knitting and I have my vodka."

Psychiatrist with bust of Freud

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

"Fancy dyeing your hair white so everyone could see it was you who played a shocker!"

'Call 911! He watched 12 straight hours of football without training adequately.'

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

How to be a Dynamic Over-achiever

"Darling! We've become armchair socialites."

"Tom, let's explore why you feel Andrea's inability to understand 'icing the puck' is passive-aggressive."

'As your financial advisor, I'd have to advise you to change your main income provider,'