Football Couch Coach Pillows

'I don't mind you watching 'Match of the Day' but...'

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

Reach for the Star.

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Go! Means NOW!

Time Is Money

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

'Another football scholarship offer?'

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

The trauma of losing.

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

Football

Bringing Your Child To The Bicycle Race

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

"Some advice please...How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

A Hard Look At Hard Looks

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...