Football Coaches Pillows

'I don't even need to look under the helmet. He blew a head gasket.'

'Doug is our fastest tailback. He runs the 40 in under a week.'

NFL linebackers are identified in early infancy and sent away to the secret academy until puberty.

'I'm taking you off of chattering in the outfield.'

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

I like the Jets...I guess

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

Reach for the Star.

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

Go team!

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

The trauma of losing.

Time Is Money

'Another football scholarship offer?'

"I AM at my usual position."

Go! Means NOW!

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

Punt Cake

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."