Comfy Couch Champion Pillows

"There's the remote!"

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

'He's in training for the marathon, he watches it every year.'

"The point of going outside is the feeling when coming back inside."

The Last Sweatpants

"No, playing fantasy football doesn't count as exercise. No wonder you pulled a muscle getting up on the table."

"Just sitting here widening. You?"

Exercise vs Laxative.

"When you are done exercising your finger, the cat would like to talk to you!"

'He hibernates between superbowls.'

Are they dangerous? Only if I shut off the tv.

'School sports day - fat boys playing computer game'

"Comfy?"

"I like it – I'm just not sure it's what I want to rot on."

You finished Netflix

"What are we doing today?"

First Place Layabout

"This, 'being a housewife' lark, isn't so hard."

'Sorry to bother you Mr Hellerman, but do you think you could just pop in and change the channel?'

Colin believed in being ready for any sporting occasion

"I don't want to sound simplistic, but I think a smaller couch with fewer throw pillows would help this marriage a lot."

"According to the fitness watch the remote moves more than you do."

"There's nothing wrong with me, I just really like this couch."

'I don't think that lifting the remote control counts as exercise!'

'Hey, a running suit. I didn't know you were into running. Maybe we could go running together sometime.' 'Actually, I'm not. I'm into elastic waistbands. But hey, maybe we could go eating together sometime.'

A slipper looks at a woman putting on her shoes

'It's alright my previous, it was just a bad dream, there is no super bindweed monster...'