Comfy Couch Enthusiast Pillows

"I don't want to sound simplistic, but I think a smaller couch with fewer throw pillows would help this marriage a lot."

"I just want to be comfortable, no matter how temporary."

A slipper looks at a woman putting on her shoes

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

"Why do they call what we're wearing 'sweats'?"

Moving in

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

Item #3715 - cozy cardigan

'Get up and put your house slippers on! - You'll be late for home school!'

"I'm having a pajama day."

Just because I'm adapted to the cold, doesn't mean I like it!

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

'Ask your doctor if getting your fat butt off the couch might be right for you!'

"Infinity scarf"

Baby blanket.

"There really is such a thing as having too many pillows."

"Aren't you glad we stayed in? I had time to order us some more sweatpants."

"Just sitting here widening. You?"

Eventual Motion Machine

Exercise vs Laxative.

"C'mere, space heater."

The black cat sat on the mat...absorbing all the heat of the fire.

Easy Listening for lazy people.

"If women are te weaker sex, how come they get most of the duvet?"

"There's the remote!"

"Well, if I was ambitious, we'd have a nice house and more money, but I'd never be around."

Carl receives the dreaded call to return to in person work. (man in pajama, wrapped in blanket and scruffy dropping his phone when he is told to return to in person work)

You know you're getting old when....

"You need the exercise, so I bought you a bigger remote."

Keeping Warm

"How much for the couch without the potato?"

"Comfy?"