Couch Relaxation Aficionado Pillows

"I've just plumped that cushion!"

"I can't wait for vacation - I'm going to go sun myself in a south-facing window."

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

Vending machine: NO stress, only 50 cents.

"I'm still looking for the lap of luxury."

'Now try and relax - we're on holiday!'

"First break since 2008."

"This place is nice, but what would we really do if we lived here? Lie around and be happy all the time?"

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

Unconditional Loveseat

"Stop blaming yourself. You loved, and dedicated so much of your time. Have you considered getting another cactus?"

Happy Retirement

'I can remember when no one had even heard of t'ai chi.'

"Noooooooooooo!"

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

"I wish I could lay there all day watching funny cat videos..."

'It's not as impressive as it looks. He only watches fishing shows.'

"I want to work from home!"

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

'Some blue-arsed fly you turned out to be.'

Father Christmas with a psychiatrist during summer

'Ask your doctor if getting your fat butt off the couch might be right for you!'

Easy chair exercise machines

"He's a keen conservationist - especially where energy and water are concerned."

Sleep. The magazine for people who are asleep.

"You know... if we don't find some ambition we could find ourselves still just laying around years from now." "Sounds good to me!"

Power Nap, ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!

"Are we sun-drenched or sun-dried?"

'Marvin, you fell asleep in the hot tub again.'

"The sea waves on my sound machine are attracting a following."

"Just sitting here widening. You?"