Comfy Couch Commander Pillows

Colin believed in being ready for any sporting occasion

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

TV-Man

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

"I won't be in today, I'm feeling a little under the coffee table."

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

"Still judging people on stuff you could never do?"

"It's time to get the couch gutters cleaned again."

"There's got to be an easier way to lie around the house."

"Shouldn't you boys be out fighting crime somewhere?" "Yeah, yeah, whatever." "I could use another beer while you're up." "I ain't goin' on no airplane!" "Anyone pay the cable bill?" The A-Hole Team

Randolph maintains a stiff upper lip while the rest of him just goes to hell.

"Just sitting here widening. You?"

Exercise vs Laxative.

"There's the remote!"

'You went to obedience school and you're still not allowed on the couch? What a gyp.'

Colin attempts to be useful around the house didn't always have the desired effect.

"We've just crossed the line between binge viewing and OCD viewing."

Naughty kids watching TV and telling their slack dad to go back to his kennel.

"Sky, sir?"

You've grazed the refrigerator, surfed the net, flipped the channels...for someone who doesn't move much, you sure do get around.

"Comfy?"

Just Married

Worshiping the TV.

"Williams cannot work from home anymore. He's losing touch with the company culture."

The first successful removal of a TV remote control from an adult male's clenched fist.

'I'm glad to see you had no problems transitioning from the lazy days of spring, to the lazy days of summer.'

'I watch shows I don't like because I can't find the remote.'

'He's not afraid of hard work-look at the way he fights it!'

"Have you seen my onesie?"

"Stop surfing so fast, you'll fall off the board."