Couch Comfy Pillows

"This, 'being a housewife' lark, isn't so hard."

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

"I'm still looking for the lap of luxury."

'Seriously. You have to get one of these.'

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'

'She'll never look for me here.'

Unconditional Loveseat

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

"I won't be in today, I'm feeling a little under the coffee table."

"I wish I could lay there all day watching funny cat videos..."

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

Help! I've fallen in love and I can't get up! Cat alert system.

"Just sitting here widening. You?"

Exercise vs Laxative.

"You've searched every streaming site there is and the best you can come up with is Gilligan's Island?"

"When I was your age, I was a lot older."

"There's the remote!"

'Bill remembers where he was everybody died.'

'I don't migrate any more. The satellite dish has made the long winter nights quite bearable.'

'I'm afraid to ask.'

Dog cradles bone, baby cradles blanket, boy cradles teddy bear and father cradles TV remote.

"Comfy?"

'Hon...Why do we have tumbleweed rolling across the living room floor?' 'That's not tumbleweed...The dog is shedding again.'

'He's part Great Dane and part couch potato.'

"The heat of the flames on my feet makes me feel thankful my feet aren't on fire."

'Yes, it's a very interesting show, but we really need to talk about all the time you waste watching it - perhaps during the next commercial break.'

'The Degeneration Game'

'I don't think that lifting the remote control counts as exercise!'

Colin believed in being ready for any sporting occasion

"I don't want to sound simplistic, but I think a smaller couch with fewer throw pillows would help this marriage a lot."

"I'm knackered trying to keep tabs on the potential consequences of the away goal rule!"

"There's nothing wrong with me, I just really like this couch."

"This love seat stinks!"

"Have you seen my onesie?"