Couch Comfy Gifts

"This, 'being a housewife' lark, isn't so hard."

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

"I'm still looking for the lap of luxury."

'Seriously. You have to get one of these.'

'She'll never look for me here.'

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'

Unconditional Loveseat

"I won't be in today, I'm feeling a little under the coffee table."

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

"I wish I could lay there all day watching funny cat videos..."

"Just sitting here widening. You?"

Exercise vs Laxative.

'I don't migrate any more. The satellite dish has made the long winter nights quite bearable.'

"There's the remote!"

'Bill remembers where he was everybody died.'

"When I was your age, I was a lot older."

'I'm afraid to ask.'

'He's part Great Dane and part couch potato.'

"Comfy?"

"The heat of the flames on my feet makes me feel thankful my feet aren't on fire."

'Yes, it's a very interesting show, but we really need to talk about all the time you waste watching it - perhaps during the next commercial break.'

'The Degeneration Game'

"This love seat stinks!"

"I know it looks like he’s doing nothing, but he’s very busy in his head."

"Have you seen my onesie?"

"I don't want to sound simplistic, but I think a smaller couch with fewer throw pillows would help this marriage a lot."

"There's nothing wrong with me, I just really like this couch."

'I don't think that lifting the remote control counts as exercise!'

Colin believed in being ready for any sporting occasion

"I'm knackered trying to keep tabs on the potential consequences of the away goal rule!"