Couch Cozy Pillows

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

"I'm still looking for the lap of luxury."

'Seriously. You have to get one of these.'

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'

"I won't be in today, I'm feeling a little under the coffee table."

Unconditional Loveseat

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

"I wish I could lay there all day watching funny cat videos..."

Help! I've fallen in love and I can't get up! Cat alert system.

The Common Sutra.

"Just sitting here widening. You?"

Exercise vs Laxative.

"When I was your age, I was a lot older."

"There's the remote!"

"You've searched every streaming site there is and the best you can come up with is Gilligan's Island?"

"When you are done exercising your finger, the cat would like to talk to you!"

'I don't migrate any more. The satellite dish has made the long winter nights quite bearable.'

'Bill remembers where he was everybody died.'

"Comfy?"

Dog cradles bone, baby cradles blanket, boy cradles teddy bear and father cradles TV remote.

'Hon...Why do we have tumbleweed rolling across the living room floor?' 'That's not tumbleweed...The dog is shedding again.'

'He's part Great Dane and part couch potato.'

'Yes, it's a very interesting show, but we really need to talk about all the time you waste watching it - perhaps during the next commercial break.'

'The Degeneration Game'

"This, 'being a housewife' lark, isn't so hard."

"I'm knackered trying to keep tabs on the potential consequences of the away goal rule!"

"I don't want to sound simplistic, but I think a smaller couch with fewer throw pillows would help this marriage a lot."

"Have you seen my onesie?"

Colin believed in being ready for any sporting occasion

"There's nothing wrong with me, I just really like this couch."

"This love seat stinks!"

"I know it looks like he’s doing nothing, but he’s very busy in his head."

A slipper looks at a woman putting on her shoes