Couch Coziness Chaser Pillows

"When you are done exercising your finger, the cat would like to talk to you!"

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

Sally woke up with a headache. This house didn't look familiar. There was a rug burn on her forehead. Three good reasons to quit drinking.

'Seriously. You have to get one of these.'

'I gotta admit it doc. . . My wife was right, a little time on the couch and I already feel better.'

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

"I guess families do come in all shapes and sizes."

'It doesn't take much to please him these days.'

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

"Whaddaya say we head home and curl up in front of a nice warm football game?"

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

The Common Sutra.

'Ask your doctor if getting your fat butt off the couch might be right for you!'

"Great - really great - but I'd still like to get out of the house every once in a while."

'It's okay, Mom. I won't need an extra blanket tonight.'

"Just sitting here widening. You?"

Eventual Motion Machine

Exercise vs Laxative.

"There's the remote!"

"Well, if I was ambitious, we'd have a nice house and more money, but I'd never be around."

Yep, you get to a certain age and you just want to fly south for the winter.

The four freedoms: freedom to bark, freedom from fetching, freedom to sleep on any piece of furniture, freedom from leashes.

Dog cradles bone, baby cradles blanket, boy cradles teddy bear and father cradles TV remote.

"How much for the couch without the potato?"

"You need the exercise, so I bought you a bigger remote."

Hotel teddy for hire

'George has decided to wear his electric blanket all the time.'

'Hon...Why do we have tumbleweed rolling across the living room floor?' 'That's not tumbleweed...The dog is shedding again.'

"Comfy?"

How Sheep Sleep

'Yes, it's a very interesting show, but we really need to talk about all the time you waste watching it - perhaps during the next commercial break.'

John bought himself a new "Unfit" bracelet.

"I know that in these bad times nobody is hiring and workers are still being laid off, but what will be your excuse when the economy recovers?"