Couch Coziness Chaser T-Shirts

"When you are done exercising your finger, the cat would like to talk to you!"

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

Sally woke up with a headache. This house didn't look familiar. There was a rug burn on her forehead. Three good reasons to quit drinking.

'Seriously. You have to get one of these.'

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

'It doesn't take much to please him these days.'

"I guess families do come in all shapes and sizes."

"Whaddaya say we head home and curl up in front of a nice warm football game?"

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

"Great - really great - but I'd still like to get out of the house every once in a while."

'Ask your doctor if getting your fat butt off the couch might be right for you!'

'It's okay, Mom. I won't need an extra blanket tonight.'

"Just sitting here widening. You?"

Exercise vs Laxative.

Eventual Motion Machine

"There's the remote!"

The four freedoms: freedom to bark, freedom from fetching, freedom to sleep on any piece of furniture, freedom from leashes.

"Well, if I was ambitious, we'd have a nice house and more money, but I'd never be around."

"Comfy?"

"You need the exercise, so I bought you a bigger remote."

How Sheep Sleep

'George has decided to wear his electric blanket all the time.'

Hotel teddy for hire

"How much for the couch without the potato?"

'Yes, it's a very interesting show, but we really need to talk about all the time you waste watching it - perhaps during the next commercial break.'

John bought himself a new "Unfit" bracelet.

"I know that in these bad times nobody is hiring and workers are still being laid off, but what will be your excuse when the economy recovers?"

American Idle