Comfy Couch Pillows

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

"I'm still looking for the lap of luxury."

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'

Unconditional Loveseat

"I won't be in today, I'm feeling a little under the coffee table."

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

"I wish I could lay there all day watching funny cat videos..."

"Just sitting here widening. You?"

Exercise vs Laxative.

Cat Dreams.

"There's the remote!"

"When I was your age, I was a lot older."

'Bill remembers where he was everybody died.'

'I don't migrate any more. The satellite dish has made the long winter nights quite bearable.'

'He's part Great Dane and part couch potato.'

"Comfy?"

"The heat of the flames on my feet makes me feel thankful my feet aren't on fire."

'The Degeneration Game'

"This love seat stinks!"

"This, 'being a housewife' lark, isn't so hard."

"I know it looks like he’s doing nothing, but he’s very busy in his head."

"I don't want to sound simplistic, but I think a smaller couch with fewer throw pillows would help this marriage a lot."

Colin believed in being ready for any sporting occasion

"Have you seen my onesie?"

"There's nothing wrong with me, I just really like this couch."

"I'm knackered trying to keep tabs on the potential consequences of the away goal rule!"

A slipper looks at a woman putting on her shoes

"He used to want to take over the world."