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Colin believed in being ready for any sporting occasion

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

TV-Man

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

"I won't be in today, I'm feeling a little under the coffee table."

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

The Common Sutra.

"It's time to get the couch gutters cleaned again."

"There's got to be an easier way to lie around the house."

"Shouldn't you boys be out fighting crime somewhere?" "Yeah, yeah, whatever." "I could use another beer while you're up." "I ain't goin' on no airplane!" "Anyone pay the cable bill?" The A-Hole Team

"Still judging people on stuff you could never do?"

Randolph maintains a stiff upper lip while the rest of him just goes to hell.

"Just sitting here widening. You?"

Exercise vs Laxative.

Colin attempts to be useful around the house didn't always have the desired effect.

"There's the remote!"

'You went to obedience school and you're still not allowed on the couch? What a gyp.'

"We've just crossed the line between binge viewing and OCD viewing."

Naughty kids watching TV and telling their slack dad to go back to his kennel.

"Comfy?"

"Sky, sir?"

'Hon...Why do we have tumbleweed rolling across the living room floor?' 'That's not tumbleweed...The dog is shedding again.'

You've grazed the refrigerator, surfed the net, flipped the channels...for someone who doesn't move much, you sure do get around.

Just Married

Dog cradles bone, baby cradles blanket, boy cradles teddy bear and father cradles TV remote.

Worshiping the TV.

"Williams cannot work from home anymore. He's losing touch with the company culture."

'He's not afraid of hard work-look at the way he fights it!'

"There's nothing wrong with me, I just really like this couch."

'I watch shows I don't like because I can't find the remote.'

The first successful removal of a TV remote control from an adult male's clenched fist.

"This love seat stinks!"