Comfy Commander Pillows

"Williams cannot work from home anymore. He's losing touch with the company culture."

"Still judging people on stuff you could never do?"

TV-Man

"OK, last time: Cado teak lounge chair from Denmark – me. Doggy bed – you."

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

"I'm afraid the price would make him toss and turn all night for months!"

Girl on a giant pair of scissors.

Hair Traffic control.

Support Group for high heels abandoned during the pandemic

'I just invented the 'chair' - It relieves lower back pain!'

'I never said it was the comfy wear...I said it was the comfy look!'

"Any improvement since I brought the balloon?"

The Last Sweatpants

"It's time to get the couch gutters cleaned again."

"There's got to be an easier way to lie around the house."

'That seating section is for video gamers only.'

"Shouldn't you boys be out fighting crime somewhere?" "Yeah, yeah, whatever." "I could use another beer while you're up." "I ain't goin' on no airplane!" "Anyone pay the cable bill?" The A-Hole Team

Randolph maintains a stiff upper lip while the rest of him just goes to hell.

'I'm a bit suspicious of that Trojan Clothes horse.'

"Sorry sir, it's the permafrost again!"

"We've just crossed the line between binge viewing and OCD viewing."

'Taking the anger management class has made you uncharacteristically nice, sir.'

Colin attempts to be useful around the house didn't always have the desired effect.

'You went to obedience school and you're still not allowed on the couch? What a gyp.'

"Cool game!"

'Remember, son. A winner is one who can keep his head while all around him are losing theirs.'

Holy cow! This is nothing like the hunting video game we played!

Naughty kids watching TV and telling their slack dad to go back to his kennel.

"Sky, sir?"

'And I'll bet that there's a cute little war story that goes with each one of them.'

'I didn't know you got one for saluting.'

Just Married

'Well, yes, a little lonely, dear. But I have Mog. And my Grand Theft Auto...'

You've grazed the refrigerator, surfed the net, flipped the channels...for someone who doesn't move much, you sure do get around.