Comfy Commander Pillows

"Williams cannot work from home anymore. He's losing touch with the company culture."

"Still judging people on stuff you could never do?"

I really think I can handle this date on my own. Lemme ask you something. Would you trust me alone with a ybot 340? An Xbox 360? They changed the name? Okay. But you cannot hit on my date. I'm only here to help.

TV-Man

"OK, last time: Cado teak lounge chair from Denmark – me. Doggy bed – you."

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

Infantry.

"I'm afraid the price would make him toss and turn all night for months!"

Hair Traffic control.

Girl on a giant pair of scissors.

Support Group for high heels abandoned during the pandemic

'I just invented the 'chair' - It relieves lower back pain!'

'I never said it was the comfy wear...I said it was the comfy look!'

"Any improvement since I brought the balloon?"

Randolph maintains a stiff upper lip while the rest of him just goes to hell.

"Shouldn't you boys be out fighting crime somewhere?" "Yeah, yeah, whatever." "I could use another beer while you're up." "I ain't goin' on no airplane!" "Anyone pay the cable bill?" The A-Hole Team

"It's time to get the couch gutters cleaned again."

The Last Sweatpants

"There's got to be an easier way to lie around the house."

'That seating section is for video gamers only.'

'I'm a bit suspicious of that Trojan Clothes horse.'

"We've just crossed the line between binge viewing and OCD viewing."

'Taking the anger management class has made you uncharacteristically nice, sir.'

"Sorry sir, it's the permafrost again!"

'You went to obedience school and you're still not allowed on the couch? What a gyp.'

"Cool game!"

Colin attempts to be useful around the house didn't always have the desired effect.

'Remember, son. A winner is one who can keep his head while all around him are losing theirs.'

Holy cow! This is nothing like the hunting video game we played!

Naughty kids watching TV and telling their slack dad to go back to his kennel.

"Psst. . . fancy shoe sales are down. Can you make Crocs instead?"

'And I'll bet that there's a cute little war story that goes with each one of them.'

'Well, yes, a little lonely, dear. But I have Mog. And my Grand Theft Auto...'

You've grazed the refrigerator, surfed the net, flipped the channels...for someone who doesn't move much, you sure do get around.

Just Married