Couch Champion Gifts

'School sports day - fat boys playing computer game'

'How can you just lie there all day?'

'He's in training for the marathon, he watches it every year.'

First Place Layabout

"According to the fitness watch the remote moves more than you do."

Due to hours of endless video-gaming, the Credner brothers each developed severe cases of PlayStation butt.

'He hibernates between superbowls.'

'He calls it his Olympic legacy, he thought the games went on for 3 weeks.'

' If nagging were an Olympic sport - you'd win gold! '

"Pace yourself big man! You're fatigued and the footy season has just begun!"

"I'm not lazy, I'm hyper inactive."

"No, I don't feel guilty. I've heard the average Briton moves once every six years."

"What are we doing today?"

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

"To save you the bother of watching the game I'll do it with both eyes open."

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

"Bloody hell!"

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

TV-Man

Check your universal remote control at the door.

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

"All of a dither as per usual!"

'He usually doesn't follow medical advice, but when the doctor told him to learn to relax...'

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

"Tragic case of having the fridge from the TV when the World Cup is showing."

"You'll love this model, sir! You won't have to miss any of the sports action when you go for a beer!"

'John is watching the game under protest.'

Captive Audience at the World Cup.

'What about you...you've been living here thirty years too?'