Couch Surfer Champion Gifts

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

Low-Energy Drinks

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

'Breaking Bad' Box Set Addiction.

Binge Watch

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

'Are you just back from work or on your way to the office?'

It's only a remote, dear...if you want better programs you will need a wand.

'Ah, business as usual.'

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

"Well, do you want to buy this sofa or not? You've been on it for three days!"

Help! I've fallen in love and I can't get up! Cat alert system.

'He's in training for the marathon, he watches it every year.'

'Having him declawed was a total was a total waste of money.'

Watchdog

"The point of going outside is the feeling when coming back inside."

"These days, I'm mostly just legislating from the couch."

Edna's Couch and Breakfast.

"There's the remote!"

'He hibernates between superbowls.'

'Try putting a remote in one hand aan a beer in the other and see if he starts up.'

"Thanks so much for letting me crash here, I really appreciate how unassertive you are."

'World Cup? Nobody told me there was a football match on!'

'School sports day - fat boys playing computer game'

Hank had been asleep for hours, but amazingly his clicker finger kept going.

World Cup reactions

Bed and Breakfast and Couch and Coffee

"Anywhere with cable T.V. will be fine."

"What are we doing today?"

First Place Layabout

"Donald switched off in 1985 and i never bothered to switch him on again."

Out-of-Homebody experience.

'Tonight, one of you is going home.'

2013: psychoanalysis is formally declared a scam.