Couch Surfer Champion Gifts

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

Low-Energy Drinks

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

Binge Watch

'Are you just back from work or on your way to the office?'

It's only a remote, dear...if you want better programs you will need a wand.

'Ah, business as usual.'

"Well, do you want to buy this sofa or not? You've been on it for three days!"

'He's in training for the marathon, he watches it every year.'

'Having him declawed was a total was a total waste of money.'

Watchdog

"The point of going outside is the feeling when coming back inside."

"These days, I'm mostly just legislating from the couch."

Edna's Couch and Breakfast.

'Try putting a remote in one hand aan a beer in the other and see if he starts up.'

"Thanks so much for letting me crash here, I really appreciate how unassertive you are."

'He hibernates between superbowls.'

"There's the remote!"

'School sports day - fat boys playing computer game'

Hank had been asleep for hours, but amazingly his clicker finger kept going.

Bed and Breakfast and Couch and Coffee

First Place Layabout

"Anywhere with cable T.V. will be fine."

"What are we doing today?"

"Donald switched off in 1985 and i never bothered to switch him on again."

'Tonight, one of you is going home.'

'You don't have to stay in a motel. I have a couch you can rent.'

2013: psychoanalysis is formally declared a scam.