Couch Surfing Champion Gifts

"His motto went from 'work hard, play hard,' to 'work hard, rest hard.'"

'Try putting a remote in one hand aan a beer in the other and see if he starts up.'

"Just look at that. The face that lunched on a thousand chips."

"Didn't I tell you to limber up before you started channel surfing?"

Low-Energy Drinks

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

'John is watching the game under protest.'

Binge Watch

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

'Are you just back from work or on your way to the office?'

'Ah, business as usual.'

It's only a remote, dear...if you want better programs you will need a wand.

"Well, do you want to buy this sofa or not? You've been on it for three days!"

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

'He's in training for the marathon, he watches it every year.'

'Having him declawed was a total was a total waste of money.'

"The point of going outside is the feeling when coming back inside."

Watchdog

'I need to do more exercising? Are you kidding?! I'm a kind of marathon runner! I run from the bed to the fridge, then to the table, back to the fridge and then to the TV, back again to the fridge and retour to the TV day by day!'

"These days, I'm mostly just legislating from the couch."

'Next on News 7...GM offers to bail out the government in the event of a shutdown...'

Edna's Couch and Breakfast.

'He hibernates between superbowls.'

"Thanks so much for letting me crash here, I really appreciate how unassertive you are."

"There's the remote!"

'School sports day - fat boys playing computer game'

Bed and Breakfast and Couch and Coffee

Hank had been asleep for hours, but amazingly his clicker finger kept going.

"This is for all the things you have already heard about via social media."

There is no limit to the amount of nonsense that men can talk about football.

'Tonight, one of you is going home.'