Couch Surfing Champion Gifts

"His motto went from 'work hard, play hard,' to 'work hard, rest hard.'"

'Try putting a remote in one hand aan a beer in the other and see if he starts up.'

"Just look at that. The face that lunched on a thousand chips."

"Didn't I tell you to limber up before you started channel surfing?"

Low-Energy Drinks

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

'Breaking Bad' Box Set Addiction.

'John is watching the game under protest.'

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

Binge Watch

'Are you just back from work or on your way to the office?'

'Ah, business as usual.'

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

It's only a remote, dear...if you want better programs you will need a wand.

"Well, do you want to buy this sofa or not? You've been on it for three days!"

Help! I've fallen in love and I can't get up! Cat alert system.

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

'He's in training for the marathon, he watches it every year.'

'I need to do more exercising? Are you kidding?! I'm a kind of marathon runner! I run from the bed to the fridge, then to the table, back to the fridge and then to the TV, back again to the fridge and retour to the TV day by day!'

"The point of going outside is the feeling when coming back inside."

'Having him declawed was a total was a total waste of money.'

Watchdog

"These days, I'm mostly just legislating from the couch."

'Next on News 7...GM offers to bail out the government in the event of a shutdown...'

Edna's Couch and Breakfast.

"Thanks so much for letting me crash here, I really appreciate how unassertive you are."

"There's the remote!"

'World Cup? Nobody told me there was a football match on!'

'He hibernates between superbowls.'

'School sports day - fat boys playing computer game'

"This is for all the things you have already heard about via social media."

World Cup reactions