King Of Comfort Pillows

'My husband likes to have everything handy during TV commercials.'

'He usually doesn't follow medical advice, but when the doctor told him to learn to relax...'

Whistler's Great-Great-Great-Great-Great Grandson

Unicorn Working From Home

"You're never home."

Dogs Bring Slippers.

"Any improvement since I brought the balloon?"

"I'm basically a simple dog. Just give me a place to lay my head and lift my leg."

The Last Sweatpants

"I think I'd be better off trying to figure this out the game on my own."

"Maybe this will make you less of a jerk!"

"The Procrastination World Championships were only a month away. He never trained so hard."

'Isn't it great?!'

Business traveller dreaming of home.

"I can't sleep without my weighted blanket... I'm safe under my weighted blanket..."

"Go back to work. . . Go back to work. . ."/"Stay. . . Stay. . ."

'I'm knitting a cozy for the house.'

'Video games don't seem to have done my dad any harm.'

"Baldo, have you finished your homework?"

'Edwards never comes out of his comfort zone.'

Getting older is . . . when you start to dress for comfort rather than style.

"Because I'm the king and I like it better than the old one, that's why."

"His motto went from 'work hard, play hard,' to 'work hard, rest hard.'"

They tell us we have to save energy. Well he hasn't expended any in fifteen years.

It's the same as my system software, he sleeps after a period of inactivity and reboots with a click.

'Know what? I don't feel drafts anymore.'

'It's alright my previous, it was just a bad dream, there is no super bindweed monster...'

"Now that I work remotely, I keep forgetting to shave and get a haircut. At least today I remembered to get dressed."

'Hey, a running suit. I didn't know you were into running. Maybe we could go running together sometime.' 'Actually, I'm not. I'm into elastic waistbands. But hey, maybe we could go eating together sometime.'

'Here it is, Mom. . . 'Never make any sudden moves around an adult male protecting his remote. Let him know you have no intention of taking it from him and he will gradually come to his senses.''

"He built his own steps. Apparently, he's loving, smart and impatient."

'Straighten up young man or we will send you out of your room.'

'The customer is King'

'Thanks for being there.'

I really don't like your attitude. I really don't like your Snuggie.