King Gifts

"Whoever he is, he has season tickets."

"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Bottom line? You're still king of about two-thirds of all you survey."

'I'll let you in on a little secret, son: If you're really, REALLY careful, absolute power only corrupts a little bit.'

'Don't think of it as a problem ??" think of it as an opportunity.'

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

'And who are your chosen subjects?'

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

"I want to be feared as a tyrant, loved as a father, and revered as a god, but I also want them to think I'm funny."

'He threw his back out trying to balance the budget.'

"If I had it all to do over again, I would have liked to be the King of Swing."

'You have a problem. You're a good guy and I'm a bad guy.'

"And then at 3 you have a meeting with the royal pain in the butt."

"My majesty!"

'Angry mob, not flash mob, Your Highness,'

'You can be replaced by Harry Potter, you know!'

"That is a good thing- I don't have to explain myself either,"

'I'm going to impose my belief system on the populace. Come up with a belief system for me by noon.'

'My new years resolution is to be less imperious.'

'My lawyer recommended posting the sign after the Dumpty incident.'

'I know it seems like a war, but it's actually an all-out struggle for peace!'

'Not gruel, stupid! -- I said find the GRAIL!'

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

'This isn't about me, it's about you.'

"When did you start lining your crown with tinfoil?"

"The food's great, but the chef's a tyrant."

"We lost another battle? Why does this keep happening?"

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

"Not exactly - He believes that the ends justify BEING mean."

"Due to the financial state of the kingdom were turning the castle into a Bed & Breakfast & Ransom."

"You have to know when to take a prophet."

"Friend or foe?"

"Why, this is fit for me!"

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