Controller King Gifts

Homo Gamus

Rage.

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, Kevin. You need to know them so you can Blog.'

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

"Where the hell's my Slinky?"

"Next time be more careful where you put the decimal point!"

STRIP Hambone: Sucidal computer over company balance sheets

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

"Eventually the instrument becomes an extension of your body."

The Unhappy King

Whistler's Great-Great-Great-Great-Great Grandson

'Not gruel, stupid! -- I said find the GRAIL!'

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

'These new video games are getting out of hand...'

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

The Work-from-Home-Polka

The Royal Wii

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

Haven't Rented a Game in 2 Weeks.

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

A war would have been bad enough, but losing Alsace-Lorraine in a poker game?

'You can scratch your back when the war is over!'

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

'You might want to try another photographer, Sire. This one tends to cut the heads off.'

(Mother Goose: playboy's Mirthful Master of the Macabre serves Up Some Strange Twists On a Clutch of Children's Classics.) "Is this supposed to be somebody's idea of a joke?"

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"

"I'm recommending more video games. I'm worried about his hand eye coordination."

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

'I know it seems like a war, but it's actually an all-out struggle for peace!'

"If I had it all to do over again, I would have liked to be the King of Swing."

"We lost another battle? Why does this keep happening?"

'Well, you DID know this job was dangerous when you took it.'