Family Drama King Gifts

'You're so illogical. I can never win an argument with you.'

"Davina McCall: Life at the Extreme takes a celebrity to the most extreme places on Earth!"

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

"Have you read any of Shakespeare's plays?"

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

Jack Gleeson

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

"My wife thought the phrase 'stick it to the man' meant everyone, hence we're divorced. My new girlfriend and I met at a party. She's krazy, man. We bonded right away and now she's pregnant. It's a squeeze top. My brother's in rehab for sniffing. He never could get his nose out of my business."

Junior barrister prompting a deaf and testy chief

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

"Where the hell's my Slinky?"

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

"I take it you got the lead in the school play."

'Hey, buddy, do you mind lending me a hand? I appear to be stuck in this thing.'

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

Humanities 101. I hear you're reading Greek plays in there. Yeah, it's a real Medea blitz!

The Unhappy King

Waving from Behind the Curtain

'Not gruel, stupid! -- I said find the GRAIL!'

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

'I'm a star!'

The Birth of a Lawsuit

'Tommy's book reports are like no other.'

"The artist-in-residence is struggling a bit, but other than that we're fine."

"Dad, why do they tell actors to "break a leg?""

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

The Royal Wii

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

Next, I recall looking down at myself and thinking, God, what a drama queen.

'You can scratch your back when the war is over!'

(Mother Goose: playboy's Mirthful Master of the Macabre serves Up Some Strange Twists On a Clutch of Children's Classics.) "Is this supposed to be somebody's idea of a joke?"

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'