Family Drama Fan Gifts

'Do it again.'

Mother says to surly teenage daughter: 'I've had enough of this, young lady! You treat this house like a fly-on-the-wall documentary.'

Le Pen accuses his daughter of using dirty politics to oust him.

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

"My wife thought the phrase 'stick it to the man' meant everyone, hence we're divorced. My new girlfriend and I met at a party. She's krazy, man. We bonded right away and now she's pregnant. It's a squeeze top. My brother's in rehab for sniffing. He never could get his nose out of my business."

'Time for my favorite soap opera, Nine Lives to Live.'

"I'm afraid Dad did not leave us anything of value in his will, but his last wish is for us to continue the feud with the neighbour's cat...

'Honey, the babysitter's here.'

'When are you going to give up this 9 to 5 nonsense and become a rock star like your brother?'

"I see you attending a family reunion, where things get quite heated."

"...And to my favorite 'Mr. Down On His Luck' relative, I leave all my spare change."

"Grandma, I have to bring an antique to school. Can I borrow your flip phone?"

"What am I doing? Just sitting here binge binging."

"Friend or foe?"

"Guess who's going to be on national television apologizing to the American public."

"What do you mean you don't think I'm the father?!"

'My daughter eloped with a mime...'

'Safe!'

Master of the house states that he will be detained in the city on business when he learns that there is cold mutton for dinner.

Levitation Man Avoids Angry Husband.

'My dad cut it. My mother repaired it. Now, I'm looking for some professional maintainance.'

"Your mother and I have seen your report card, and we've decided to distance ourselves from you."

'The actress who kept her clothes on in a TV drama.'

Zombie & Son

'Ralph finally got the remote control to work - his way.'

"Hi, you are through to the bank of Mum and Dad."

"...That old fool thinks I'm a stick."

"Will you shut up about world domination and just make the damn coffee."

'Would you like to try our new Family-Style meal deal? While you eat I yell at you to be more like your brother then criticize what you're wearing before saying how much you've disappointed me and your father.'

"Your father forgives the thirty attemps you've made on his life, Oedipus. How does that make you feel?"

Grim Reaper watching the Lifetime Channel.