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"Whoever he is, he has season tickets."

"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Bottom line? You're still king of about two-thirds of all you survey."

'I'll let you in on a little secret, son: If you're really, REALLY careful, absolute power only corrupts a little bit.'

'Don't think of it as a problem ??" think of it as an opportunity.'

'And who are your chosen subjects?'

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

"I want to be feared as a tyrant, loved as a father, and revered as a god, but I also want them to think I'm funny."

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

"And then at 3 you have a meeting with the royal pain in the butt."

"The food's great, but the chef's a tyrant."

"Not exactly - He believes that the ends justify BEING mean."

"If I had it all to do over again, I would have liked to be the King of Swing."

"My majesty!"

"When did you start lining your crown with tinfoil?"

"That is a good thing- I don't have to explain myself either,"

'Angry mob, not flash mob, Your Highness,'

'My new years resolution is to be less imperious.'

'This isn't about me, it's about you.'

'You have a problem. You're a good guy and I'm a bad guy.'

'I know it seems like a war, but it's actually an all-out struggle for peace!'

'You can be replaced by Harry Potter, you know!'

'He threw his back out trying to balance the budget.'

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

'Not gruel, stupid! -- I said find the GRAIL!'

'My lawyer recommended posting the sign after the Dumpty incident.'

"Need a crony?"

"Oh well, what does a jester know?"

"The system was already feudal when I inherited it."

"Friend or foe?"

"I exiled the lot of them. How are your kids?"

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"Why, this is fit for me!"