Ketogenic Diet Gifts

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

"Where do we put Desserts?"

Soup of the month.

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

Vegetarian Birds

The discovery of asparagus.

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

"Eat your vegetarian or you'll go extinct!"

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"I don't care if it's plant-based, you're creeping everyone out."

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

"My parents won't allow sugar in the house, so I've had to learn about it on the street."

'Dad, you know that I'd never buy a pet that eats meat. Luckily, I found a guy who sold me the World's only vegetarian dog!'

'Dorothy - we're not in the health food section anymore.'

"You'll find that as a restaurateur I've worked hard to showcase the finest in organic and free range ingredients that have been harvested and prepared in authentic and traditional ways."

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

"I eat a totally plant-based diet and I still can't lose weight."

'Vegetarian is an old Indian word which means bad hunter.'

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

"You won’t need refills."

Macho Vegetarian

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

Looking at magnetic polarity one understands why an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

'Come on, eat your spinach.' -' Sorry, I'm on a special diet...No toxic waste.'