Keto Diet Gifts

"You CAN have your keto cake and eat it too!"

"We ought to give this diet a name."

"Where do we put Desserts?"

Soup of the month.

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

Vegetarian Birds

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

The discovery of asparagus.

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

"Eat your vegetarian or you'll go extinct!"

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

"My parents won't allow sugar in the house, so I've had to learn about it on the street."

"You'll find that as a restaurateur I've worked hard to showcase the finest in organic and free range ingredients that have been harvested and prepared in authentic and traditional ways."

"Don't bother gathering carbs for me, I'm on the Paleo diet."

'Dad, you know that I'd never buy a pet that eats meat. Luckily, I found a guy who sold me the World's only vegetarian dog!'

'Dorothy - we're not in the health food section anymore.'

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

'This is gluten free, isn't it?'

"I eat a totally plant-based diet and I still can't lose weight."

'Vegetarian is an old Indian word which means bad hunter.'

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

Looking at magnetic polarity one understands why an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

Macho Vegetarian

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

'Come on, eat your spinach.' -' Sorry, I'm on a special diet...No toxic waste.'