Keto Adventurer Gifts

"I just eat one of these and I don't have to munch grass for ten hours?"

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"Where do we put Desserts?"

"This feels like an accomplishment."

"First cook the cake, then apply icing sugar and candles..."

"I envy you, but my dietary requirements make it difficult for me to travel..."

'Missed again, eh, Bob? Maybe you should switch to decaf!'

"Looks like those folks from 'civilization' are back!"

No, this is the red lagoon, the black one is down the road a bit.

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

Bedtime Stories with Gordon Ramsay

'It was at this point that the executive group began its hatha flow retreats.'

I made you a cake!

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

Anti-inflammation recipes

The Inexperienced Cook

'The cake timer dinged, Mom, and so did my stomach.'

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

Yoga for beginners,

International House of Excrement

"There's a big green giant at the door!"

GM Crops Genie.

'One of the good things about being a dung beetle is that my kids are not fussy eaters...'

'New Barbeque.'

"Fish needs bigger hole."

What's your most popular drink? Why do you want to know? Why base your order on what other people are buying? Don't be a follower. Be your own man. If you're unfamiliar with a drink, ask what's in it and decide for yourself whether that sounds good. Or better yet, live a little. Take a risk. Choose a drink you've never had at random and see where it takes you. You only have one life. Don't live it following in the footsteps of other people. That's kind of harsh. No, it's the name of the drink.

Squirrel Tapping On Window Demanding Food.

Time for pancakes!

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

Scandalous! The Germans are occupying the best places on the beach!

Mrs Jones's fish pie could be smelt for miles around!

'If they rise they're scones. If not they're pancakes.'

"We didn't have any whipped cream, so I used foaming hand soap."

'Advanced warning: High cholesterol 10mtrs ahead.'

"One slice—hold the bread."