Low Carb Adventurer Gifts

Cauliflower rice isn't the same

'Missed again, eh, Bob? Maybe you should switch to decaf!'

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

"You need to do less talking the talk and more walking the walk."

Anti-inflammation recipes

Sisyphus Sawyer

International House of Excrement

"It's only until the gas prices go down and I can afford to drive the car again. Maybe you should have an ambulance follow me."

'New Barbeque.'

'I made it chocolate so it wouldn't show the dirt.'

What's your most popular drink? Why do you want to know? Why base your order on what other people are buying? Don't be a follower. Be your own man. If you're unfamiliar with a drink, ask what's in it and decide for yourself whether that sounds good. Or better yet, live a little. Take a risk. Choose a drink you've never had at random and see where it takes you. You only have one life. Don't live it following in the footsteps of other people. That's kind of harsh. No, it's the name of the drink.

'No, that doesn't make any difference either, Miss Jones.'

Motivation to Keep Fit.

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

Couple in a yacht setting up a washing line on wind turbines.

Naturists feelings of joy evaporate when a slug climbs up his arse

Odd Spas

'Advanced warning: High cholesterol 10mtrs ahead.'

The First Vegetarians.

'And you didn't think there would be any customers for liver-flavored cupcakes.'

The label on the bottle did say 'natural and organic ingredients', but THIS could not be right.

"It may not be the lowest cal, but it's low enough cal for me."

'We're starting a new diet today -- do you want your tofu scrambled or fried?'

'I don't care if we mostly eat protein - on a hot day like this I have a craving for ice cream.'

Man on Island.

Three Wise Men on one camel. One says: 'We've decided to set an example by camel sharing.'

"Why have you brought me here?"

'Pillage and plunder, yes...but don't harm the environment.'

"My doctor suggested I get less fat in my diet."

'It's time for drastic measures - I'm taking you off food and putting you on chew toys.'

I find that I can cut back on calories if I use only one chopstick.

"You're the one who wanted to go someplace off the beaten track - you ask him what's gluten free."

Go Veggie...