Low Carb Adventurer Pillows

Cauliflower rice isn't the same

'Missed again, eh, Bob? Maybe you should switch to decaf!'

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

Anti-inflammation recipes

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

"You need to do less talking the talk and more walking the walk."

Sisyphus Sawyer

International House of Excrement

'New Barbeque.'

'I made it chocolate so it wouldn't show the dirt.'

"It's only until the gas prices go down and I can afford to drive the car again. Maybe you should have an ambulance follow me."

'No, that doesn't make any difference either, Miss Jones.'

Motivation to Keep Fit.

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

Couple in a yacht setting up a washing line on wind turbines.

Odd Spas

'Advanced warning: High cholesterol 10mtrs ahead.'

Naturists feelings of joy evaporate when a slug climbs up his arse

The First Vegetarians.

'And you didn't think there would be any customers for liver-flavored cupcakes.'

'I don't care if we mostly eat protein - on a hot day like this I have a craving for ice cream.'

'We're starting a new diet today -- do you want your tofu scrambled or fried?'

The label on the bottle did say 'natural and organic ingredients', but THIS could not be right.

"It may not be the lowest cal, but it's low enough cal for me."

Man on Island.

Three Wise Men on one camel. One says: 'We've decided to set an example by camel sharing.'

"Why have you brought me here?"

'Pillage and plunder, yes...but don't harm the environment.'

"My doctor suggested I get less fat in my diet."

'It's time for drastic measures - I'm taking you off food and putting you on chew toys.'

"You're the one who wanted to go someplace off the beaten track - you ask him what's gluten free."

Go Veggie...

I find that I can cut back on calories if I use only one chopstick.

'Someone added chocolate chips to all my recipe files. Do you know anything about that?'