Diet Adventurer Pillows

'You'll have to forgive my wife.. this is the longest she's ever been on a diet.'

Take It All Off Weight Loss Center

Odd Spas

"Look on the brightside, you've always wanted to try the fish and coconut diet"

"My doctor suggested I get less fat in my diet."

"Are you on another one of those crazy crash diets?"

When they told us to have a varied diet I don't think they just meant all 36 varieties of 'Pot Noodle'.

'It's time for drastic measures - I'm taking you off food and putting you on chew toys.'

I find that I can cut back on calories if I use only one chopstick.

Scales.

"It may not be the lowest cal, but it's low enough cal for me."

"I envy you, but my dietary requirements make it difficult for me to travel..."

All Natural Nothing

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

Garlic Free Zone.

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

Anti-inflammation recipes

Sisyphus Sawyer

International House of Excrement

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

'New Barbeque.'

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

Motivation to Keep Fit.

Nutritional Supplements.

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

'Advanced warning: High cholesterol 10mtrs ahead.'