Diet Adventurer Pillows

'You'll have to forgive my wife.. this is the longest she's ever been on a diet.'

Take It All Off Weight Loss Center

Odd Spas

"Look on the brightside, you've always wanted to try the fish and coconut diet"

"My doctor suggested I get less fat in my diet."

"Are you on another one of those crazy crash diets?"

When they told us to have a varied diet I don't think they just meant all 36 varieties of 'Pot Noodle'.

'It's time for drastic measures - I'm taking you off food and putting you on chew toys.'

I find that I can cut back on calories if I use only one chopstick.

Scales.

"It may not be the lowest cal, but it's low enough cal for me."

All Natural Nothing

"I envy you, but my dietary requirements make it difficult for me to travel..."

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

Garlic Free Zone.

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

Anti-inflammation recipes

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

Sisyphus Sawyer

International House of Excrement

'New Barbeque.'

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

Gastroenterology - Pull Finger For Service.

Motivation to Keep Fit.

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

Nutritional Supplements.