Keto Diet Pillows

"You CAN have your keto cake and eat it too!"

"We ought to give this diet a name."

"Where do we put Desserts?"

Soup of the month.

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

Vegetarian Birds

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

The discovery of asparagus.

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"Eat your vegetarian or you'll go extinct!"

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

"My parents won't allow sugar in the house, so I've had to learn about it on the street."

"You'll find that as a restaurateur I've worked hard to showcase the finest in organic and free range ingredients that have been harvested and prepared in authentic and traditional ways."

"Don't bother gathering carbs for me, I'm on the Paleo diet."

'Dorothy - we're not in the health food section anymore.'

'Dad, you know that I'd never buy a pet that eats meat. Luckily, I found a guy who sold me the World's only vegetarian dog!'

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

"I eat a totally plant-based diet and I still can't lose weight."

'This is gluten free, isn't it?'

'Vegetarian is an old Indian word which means bad hunter.'

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

Macho Vegetarian

"You won’t need refills."

'Come on, eat your spinach.' -' Sorry, I'm on a special diet...No toxic waste.'