Alternative Diets Gifts

"If the Webers invite us to their vegan potluck dinner, I found an excuse we haven't used yet."

'I want to take you home and throw out everything in your kitchen.'

"So much for going vegan."

"No fog lips, rat guts or bat teeth? I hate going vegan!"

"My veganism begins and ends with eating insects."

"Me veganism begins and ends with eating insects."

"Just because that last guy you ate was a vegan, you can't say you're on a vegan diet!"

Go Veggie...

"I'm looking for ground beef that's organic, non-GMO, and doesn't contain meat."

Ill Advised Vegan Survey

"I only invest in alternative meat products, so I reject the terms 'Bull' and 'Bear'."

"What've you got that's good for vegans?"

"I'm a lacto-ovo-everything-else-that-tastes-good vegetarian."

The Shoulder of Quorn

"Ey up, guys! Here comes the slaughter mower - everyone Duck!"

"It's her choice to become a vegetarian, but it's unfair that we're being fed tofu now!"

"Everyone, stop looking delicious. The vegans are back and that tofurkey jerky won't keep them back much longer."

"The vegans are going to be unbearable after this!"

"You'll find that as a restaurateur I've worked hard to showcase the finest in organic and free range ingredients that have been harvested and prepared in authentic and traditional ways."

"As vegan zombies, are we allowed to eat brains?"

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

Vegetarian Birds

"I'm thinking of switching to an all vegan diet...based on carrots...mainly carrots..."

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

Soup of the month.

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

"I envy you, but my dietary requirements make it difficult for me to travel..."

The discovery of asparagus.

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."