Alternative Food Gifts

Deceptive Vegan Lasagna: Gluten-free pasta, Ricotta cheese substitute, Tomato-free tomato sauce, Leftovers, Pork, chicken, dairy and lots of gluten, Files from '05

'Well our Jim did say he was going for something alternative!'

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"Good For You / Bad For You"

Self help acupuncture

But is it organic?

"Everything on our menu uses organic, locally sourced, graveyard-to-table ingredients."

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

Don't mind us. We're just trying to eat more locally grown food.

Organic Produce: No Pesticides, Herbicides or Bad Vibes.

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

All Natural Nothing

Vegetarian Birds

"We're odd looking but just as good."

"Is the MSG local?"

"This is locally grown and good for the environment, but it may give you greenhouse gas."

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

'You've got, like, a Feng Shui problem with your pancreas, dude.'

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

'Excuse me - are you organic?'

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

New Age Store.

"No, dude. Smoke the grass first. Then eat the candy."

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

'My owner is feeding me way too much organic food.'

"You won’t find a more effective antidepressant."

The Mainstream

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

'It's going to be a vegan.'

Culinary Breakthroughs During Social Distancing

Traditional vs alternative medicine.

Doctor receiving advice from patient's mother