Judicial Jest Appreciator Gifts

'Will the defendant explain to the Court why he refuses to be called 'the accused'?'

"Take this declaration of war and punch it up."

"If you really want independence, you should get into contract law."

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

"He may be only a junior partner, but remember - his mother destroyed half of Tokyo."

'No hostile takeover bids beyond this point.'

'I might even change my views on genetics research if scientists could genetically engineer supreme court appointees!'

God asks an angel for change for a tower viewer.

"I admit saying England had no hope of winning the World Cup, me Lord, but it isn't treason."

10K Ambulance Chase

Must you be so judgmental?

'It all started when I told him I resented people calling lawyers assholes, because I'm an asshole.'

'When I pled 'Not Guilty,' I forgot to say 'May I?''

'We find the defendant guilty, the defense a showboater and the DA a legal mal-practitioner.'

You charged me for for two visits? Yes you came back for your umbrella.

In a surprising development, Judge Judy today banned cameras from her courtroom.

Scalpers Work The Queue At Heaven's Gates

"The jury would like to say that this case was not as juicy as it promised to be."

"Where does it say I can't take the law into my own feet?"

'It's nothing personal against you, Bobo -- it's just that Limbaugh is funnier.'

"This is not what I meant when I said you should try to live in the present."

'There hasn't been an assassination attempt all week -- what are they up to out there?'

"Have you got it in beige?"

'Do you think the legal profession is modern and forward-thinking, Sir?'

'He has that certain undefinable something that says he's guilty as sin.'

"I don't get grounded. My dad's a judge so I get sequestered."

'You are charged with getting involved in the political process....'

Christmas Joy, Peace and Goodwill.

"Every time we say we will uphold precedent, Trump tweets he wants us to uphold the president."

'Excuse me, but I've always wanted to do this.'

Sonia Sotomayor

Extreme Court of the United States

"We were wondering if you would like to come in for a beer, Brett."

Man sees sign on lawyers' door: 'Fogarty, Brown and Plimsoll ... Conflicts of Interest'

'We're ready to order... ORDER!'