Judicial Jest Fan Gifts

"The jury would like to say that this case was not as juicy as it promised to be."

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

TV jester.

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

A baby in court

"At least he's honest about it..."

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

"Someone should have warned you - he doesn't suffer fools gladly."

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

"Are you trying to show contempt for this court."

"You have a really lousy sense of humor."

'No, no. I told you to look for a precedent.'

"In mitigation, Sunny Chemicals would like to point out that prior to contracting his skin allergy, Mr Crumb was already ugly."

'I might even change my views on genetics research if scientists could genetically engineer supreme court appointees!'

"...And now show us what you said."

Disorder in the Court!

"I don't plead."

"These days, I'm mostly just legislating from the couch."

'I'm afraid that driving the getaway car is more than just a driving offence, Mr. Jones.'

"My client pleads not guilty, by reason that everyone else is doing it."

"How was I supposed to know she was allergic?"

'Your honor, the defense would like to buy a vowel!'

'Considering my student debt, I felt it prudent to specialize in bankruptcy law,'

"Guilty times infinity."