Judicial Jest Lover Gifts

Must you be so judgmental?

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

Mighty Man Of Justice Is Born

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

A baby in court

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

The Scones-Monkey Trial. I, Judge Sadie, am prepared to rule. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Intelligent design versus evolution. Borrrinnng. That is my legal finding. Appeal. Will all bipeds please rise.

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

"Remember, junior, in America anyone can aspire to become the most powerful person in government - the special prosecutor!"

"Are you trying to show contempt for this court."

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

Antonin Scalia

'No, no. I told you to look for a precedent.'

"In mitigation, Sunny Chemicals would like to point out that prior to contracting his skin allergy, Mr Crumb was already ugly."

'I might even change my views on genetics research if scientists could genetically engineer supreme court appointees!'

"Your honor, we were having so much fun being sequestered, we forgot what the defendant is charged with."

"Can you hold on a sec? I just have to condemn this guy to death real quick."

"I don't plead."

Disorder in the Court!

"...And now show us what you said."

"These days, I'm mostly just legislating from the couch."

Ruth Bader Ginsburg

'The 'whole truth and nothing but the truth' can be tricky.'

'I'm afraid that driving the getaway car is more than just a driving offence, Mr. Jones.'

"My client pleads not guilty, by reason that everyone else is doing it."

"How was I supposed to know she was allergic?"

'Considering my student debt, I felt it prudent to specialize in bankruptcy law,'

"Guilty times infinity."

"I admit saying England had no hope of winning the World Cup, me Lord, but it isn't treason."

'Your honor, the defense would like to buy a vowel!'

With Jury Duty for All